I know what you’re thinking. ”Killing a fat guy? That’s terrible!” But it’s not what you think. This isn’t some graphic online novel about murdering a fat person or some bashing on fat people. My name is Gary Drumm and This is an online record of my personal journey to lose 100 pounds and take back control of my life.
In June of 2012 I came to understand, after years of dealing with personal image and self-worth issues, that there were two people living in my head. There was a “fat guy” and a “fit guy”. I called the fat guy “fat gary”, and the fit guy “Strong Gary” or “Fit Gary”. On June 9th, 2012 I wrote the following manifesto to a group of life coaching friends on Facebook: (NOTE: Some ADULT language was used in my original post. It has been changed here for the purpose of this message reaching a larger audience. It was used at the time to elevate the intensity of my own emotional responses to what I was writing.)
My friends. Last night I had a personal breakthrough. All of my training, and reading, and inner reflection, and meditation, and prayers came to fruition. I have struggled with weight issues for most of my adult life. Of course, weight issues are not about food, or exercise, or thyroid conditions (in most cases). No, obesity is an emotional problem and if it’s an emotional problem then it is a psychological one. I stepped on the scale last night, after another night of socializing with friends and, you guessed it, eating 3 times as much food as everyone else at the event, and I was horrified at the number I saw. To be honest, I’m embarrassed to write this number to my group of coaching friends and family, but it has to be put out there because it is part of my plan to fix it.
The moment I saw this number I knew. I knew that there were two people living in my head. Two identities. Two distinct and different personalities. There was a fat gary, the weak, lazy, over indulgent, whiney, whimp of a man. “Man”. Ha! I use that term only because I can’t think of anything else. fat gary is jerk. He complains and whines about his life and circumstance. He sits on the couch in all of his fat glory converting oxygen into carbon dioxide and stuffing his face with artificial salty/sweet products commonly referred to as “food”.
He’s a jerk and he’s a coward. I have come to HATE fat gary. And last night, my friends. He died. Goodbye fat gary! Goodbye forever!
fat gary – Born December 23, 1969. Died June 8, 2012.
The other person living in my head is Strong Gary. He is healthy and vibrant. He is confident and secure. He is courageous and compelling. Strong Gary sucks it up and does whatever must be done to move in the direction of his goals and dreams. And where fat gary used to sit around fantasizing about what it would be like to do this, or live that, Strong Gary just does it! Strong Gary lives at the highest level of contribution and growth because he is certain of who he is, he is adventurous and loves variety, he is significant because he gives of himself, his time, his talent, and his treasure, and he is loved because of his enormous heart and deep passion for himself and for others.
Strong Gary is the one that most of you know. Strong Gary is the man behind the ideas and concepts I present here to you, my friends. And Strong Gary is the man who is writing this now to announce his presence to the world.
fat gary is dead. Long live Strong Gary!
P.S. And yes, I am fully aware of the fact that did not capitalize “fat gary”. I’ll leave it to you, my mindful friends to determine why.
I’m off to the gym!
This decision, as you can see, was reached one month ago today. At the time I weighed 331 pounds. Today, I’ve gone down to 315, though I admit I stepped on the scale this morning and weighed in at 319. No matter. I know the reason of the upswing and it isn’t eating an extra 12,000 calories. It’s not fat, in other words.
Regardless, my intention here is to share my journey.